'Old Lady' Mommy

The following is an excerpt from a forum I participate in.
The first two postings are from others to preface the topic for you.

We were at the baptism of a friend's baby this past Sunday. In fact, the kid and I went a few days early and spent the time with my friend and her new baby. As I was holding this little 5.5 week old, I had this thought: "I don't want to go back to this stage." At least not now. It wasn't an overwhelming feeling, it was just a fleeting thought. I don't think it means anything profound. It doesn't change any of our plans, hopes or dreams for the future. But I am still thinking about it, because it sure did take me by surprise._________________Elizabeth V.

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Quote:
"I don't want to go back to this stage."

My youngest one just left home for college. My house is quiet and tidy. I am looking for things to fill up the hours after I come home from work. They grow up soooo fast._________________Laus Deo Semper, Mary-Love My child, conduct your affairs with humility, and you will be loved more than a giver of gifts. Sirach 3:17

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Hi Elizabeth! Boy do I understand your fleeting thought! It is as a married, premenopausal woman, that I have felt my faith in God knowing what is best for me, to be most tested. But God has a way of turning us around to His line of thinking if we are truly open to Him being the 'captain of our ships'. At the age of 40, I have 2 in college and a 22 month old. Talk about not wanting to go 'back to this stage'! I remember when I was holding a newgrandniece all the young women were saying to me "makes you want to have another one, doesn't it?" and I responded "uh..No." The thought of being in my late 30's and chasing a toddler around just had absolutely no appeal to me for some reason. I had my first when I was barely 21 years old. Most of my peers were going to school and enjoying life in ways that I never was able to because of my young motherhood. So as I was approaching my 40's and my youngest was soon to be headed out the door, I was looking forward to doing independent things again...travel, school, maybe even writing one of those novels that are embedded in my psyche, (which requires a few hours of consistant 'quiet' time...ever evasive to mothers). For the first time in my adult life, I was going to be able to be 'selfish' and not have to plan my time and life with the children first in mind. It was in my grasp...the light at the end of the tunnel.....freedom, independence, meals that I liked, my car always available to me and only me. But lo and behold, as I approached 39, I was with child. When asked by some as to whether or not the child was 'planned', (or an even worse comment was "Oh, there was an 'oops', huh?" ), my response was "She was not 'unplanned'." or "Ofcourse she was planned, planned by God!" and I now follow it with "She is a perfect example that God knows what is best for me better then I do." and that is truly what I mean. For I have no idea of what my child will contribute to the world, but each and everyone of us changes the world in some way...and only God knows the full effect of a human life. She has turned my world upside down, changing every bit and part of it....but I have no doubt that she is worth all of it. Before I could not imagine life with another dependent child, now I cannot imagine life without her. And now as I speak to her older sisters off in college dorms, I look at my little one and think "someday too you shall leave me." But by then maybe I will have grandchildren to distract me from her absence. (The older ones will be in their late 30's by then....holy cow!) Hopefully tho, they will wait a tad bit longer then I did. And as for me? Well heck! I haven't reached menopause yet, so I guess anything can happen. If I changed my world for one...who knows...maybe two wouldn't be so bad. ....but then again. I suppose hubby and I just best trust God._________________Paula H. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths." Proverbs 3:5-6